Last night’s episode of The Bachelor wasn’t quite as dramatic as the trailer would have led America to believe. (Of course.)
Lesley (one of my top 2 so far) got the first one-on-one date of the week. Her date card said something along the lines of “how long do you think this love will last?,” and when Sean asked her what she thought it meant, she said something like “Well, I don’t know, but hopefully a long time! I hope we’re going on a trip!” Cue the disappointment when they arrive at a theater on Hollywood Boulevard and learn that they have to break the Guinness World Record for longest on-screen kiss. In front of Chris Harrison, an actual Guinness Record Official, and a live audience. I watched this ep with a group, and it wasn’t until about halfway through the kiss that we realized that we were going to be forced to witness the entire event. I guess that’s where the “on-screen” dealio comes in to play. In my opinion, kissing would tend to stop being enjoyable when your lips are required to be touching nonstop for 3 minutes and 15 seconds. These two made that clear, with their abundant groping, hair-grabbing, and giggling:
They ended up on a rooftop (as all good dates do), where they kissed some more and he gave her a rose. One thing about Lesley is that she’s not very good at timing, reading signals, or body language. It’s up for debate whether she’s really as big a dork as she claims to have been in high school, or if perhaps she’s just not really that interested in him.
Up next was the group date, which featured our first competitive event of the season. The girls arrive on a beach sporting athletic-type bikinis, and we all anxiously awaited the shout-out to accompany this seeming product placement. None came. I’m still waiting to find out who provided those sporty bathing suits.
After a few minutes of fun and frolicking, Sean announces that the girls have to split into two teams and compete against each other in a game of volleyball: winners get extra time with him, losers head home. Either the red team or the blue team won, and no one that I really like was on the winning team. There were TONS of tears shed. Totally not a normal reaction to a lighthearted day at the beach.
Kacie B was on the winning team, and she brought the drama. In an attempt to win him over, she tried to tell Sean about some brewing conflict between Amanda (silent treatment girl/non-attractive model) and Desiree, and it made him uncomfortable and defensive. She tried to backpedal for a while, but it was obvious that he was very much turned off by this. It was nice to see him stand up for himself and the other girls and to put her in her place.
The girl who wore the wedding dress the first night got the rose on the group date. Lauren? Lindsey? There are too many girls with same-initial names this season.
Up next was AshLee’s group date. Somehow, moments before Sean was set to arrive to pick her up, Tierra fell down the stairs. That girl has some perfect timing. She refused treatment for her “injuries,” even after a paramedic crew had been dispatched to the house, and she shook it off soon thereafter. The preview really built this one up for a big letdown. More drama ensued as Sean took Tierra aside to spend time with her, rather than leaving on his date with AshLee. It was during this conversation that I realized the resemblance between Tierra and my girl Britney. (That’s Britney Spears, obvi.)
Anyway. AshLee’s date was at a theme park, just the two of them plus two teenage girls who suffer from chronic illnesses, which somehow highlights Sean’s love for community service. Not much juicy stuff to report on there, although I’m not sure that this is the kind of community service he participates in on a “regular day.” AshLee doesn’t seem to be the dramatic type, which is good. On top of the theme park to themselves, they also got a private concert by yet another B-list music group. (Why can’t any decent artists realize the awesomeness of this franchise and agree to play a set?) Later that night, Sean cried when AshLee told him about her adoption. It was a tender moment, and she got a rose.
The cocktail party and rose ceremony were kind of a blur: all the girls were “stealing Sean away” left and right. Two girls crashed Kacie’s time with him, and we got to catch a rare glimpse of a cameraman running through the background to catch any possible drama. (There wasn’t any.) We re-wound that scene to watch and giggle hysterically several times.
At the rose ceremony, he pulled Kacie aside and sent her home first. FREAKING FINALLY! I knew I liked him. Taryn also goes home (I remember this because I liked her during the first episode), along with someone else. She couldn’t have gotten much face time with the Bachelor if I can’t even remember her name.