L-o-o-o-n-g weekend

I’m flying to Chicago tomorrow, for my first (and likely only) visit before our planned June move.

We have apartment showings lined up, as the goal of the trip is to find an apartment (or at least a floorplan + building combo) that we like and are comfortable living in for a year.

To anyone who knows me (myself included), none of this is normal Katie behavior. I still can’t believe I’m moving to a city where I know no one, with a guy I’ve known for less than a year.

My house should go on the market on Friday. I’ve applied to transfer to a new internal role at work that will allow me to work remotely. I’ve been downsizing my belongings for months. I plan to sell my car. All of these major, major changes, and I feel almost no anxiety about them. I’m a person who’s anxious about everything. It’s new and different for me to be staring into the face of such a massive life change without sheer terror.

I’ve never lived anywhere but my home town, with the exception of 4 years of college, including one semester studying abroad. But I always thought of it then as temporary, and that I’d be heading home when it was finished. Going from Charlottesville to Chicago is probably one of the biggest changes I could make.

Part of me is worried that I’ll get there tomorrow, take one look around at the massive city, and say “nope, I can’t do this.” The other part of me keeps repeating “you can do anything for one year.” That’s probably not the healthiest way to think about moving halfway across the country to be with a partner, and I haven’t voiced that to him. It seems that thinking of it as a temporary life adventure is the best way for me to cope with it, though.

I’ve been wanting to leave Charlottesville for years, and haven’t had the courage to do it. My chance is finally here. Chicago, here we come.



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