the big 2-5

I know I said I’d be participating in Jenni’s Blogtember challenge, but from the looks of it, I lied. Sorry ’bout it!

Friday is my 25th birthday. I’m going to be a quarter of a century old. It comes and goes, but I’m actually feeling fairly anxious about this milestone. 25 sounds so old to me. It seems that I should have things a little more together. I should know what I want to do with my life by now, right? Yet I have no idea.

I’ve been saying for a year or so that I want to quit my job and go at it on my own, pursuing the interior design thing or the self-employed thing or some other “thing” altogether (truthfully, I think it’s been less time than that, but everything feels like ‘forever‘ to members of my instant-gratification generation). Then on other days, I realize that 21 already feels like it was ages ago, and 30 feels even farther away, and really, I’ve got my whole life to “pursue my dreams”–why do I feel such a strong urge to do it now? And then I reply: “because right now I’m young and not tied down and have no adult obligations, and I have the money and the health and the desire to travel / quit my job / save the animals / be a professional Pinterester now, and I might not in 5 or 10 or 30 years.” And then I’m like, “okay, so what am I going to do about it?” And that’s pretty much as far as I get.

Anyway, I’ve been a bit wrapped up in the gravity of reaching my quarter-life mark and yet feeling like my life hasn’t yet started, in the sense that I have no idea what my real purpose is. I’ve been trapped in my head even more than usual lately. (And that’s a lot.)

So this weekend, P and I are stealing away for the trip that I never actually thought we’d take. We’re going to Watkins Glen Sunday through Wednesday, and I’m really looking forward to the chance to relax and re-charge, just the two of us. We’ll be wine tasting (definitely), kayaking (hopefully), hiking (maybe), and taking in the scenery (absolutely). P’s work travel schedule has picked up lately, so he’s been busy (and kind of all over the place, geographically speaking) often, and as I mentioned, I feel like I’ve basically retreated into the dark corners of my mind and haven’t come up for air and to simply enjoy things for months.

I’m really, really looking forward to it. I feel like I’m attaching a lot of weight to turning 25, when maybe it doesn’t need to be that way. At a minimum, I’m hoping that this trip will chill me out a little. A stretch goal, though, is that the crisp fall weather of upstate New York will breathe new life into me, and I’ll come back completely sure of my purpose in life, and armed with a sure-fire, 100-step plan for getting there! (If only.)


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