Week two of our LDR was better than the first, if this weekend’s visit was an indicator.
Last Tuesday or Wednesday night I was pretty lonely. I don’t remember why (I don’t remember anything specific happening), but I was just feeling lonely and sad and really missing P. It’s hard not to see each other every day anymore, when the first year of our relationship contained daily visits, regardless of whether we actually had anything to do. It’s easy to start to question feelings and intentions and dedication when we’re apart. It’s easy to overanalyze and to read hidden meaning into situations where there is none. It’s not an ideal setup, especially for a neurotic and obsessive scrutinizer like me.
By Friday, I was ready for our planned weekend visit. P called me during my drive home from work, and said that it was raining pretty hard there and that I should wait until Saturday morning to make the drive. I was upset, and angrily decided that I would wait, knowing that that meant I’d likely sleep until about 10 on Saturday, and then take my time in getting there. After stewing on that for a little while, I realized that would be a waste of a lot of time we could have been spending together, and decided to hit the road anyway, against his advice. So I left for Farmville and arrived around 9:30 on Friday night. P wasn’t in a great mood and didn’t seem very happy to see me at first, but after a while we slipped back in to our usual routine.
We spent all day yesterday and today together, and went to his office holiday party last night. It was nice to have a reminder of what it’s like to spend time just the two of us, doing regular “us” things.
I came home today knowing that we don’t have concrete plans to see each other next weekend. P has a big work function on Friday night and might come here on Saturday. I hope he will; I’m not looking forward to the possibility of heading into the holidays (separately) without seeing each other first!