In going back and reading the few-and-far-between posts I’ve written here, it’s clear to me that there are only pieces of my life reflected in these posts. The true meat of my experience lives on only in my mind.
If I think back to the place in my life and the person I was when I started this blog, I realize that that version of me was the happiest I have ever been. I started writing this blog in order to capture the best parts of my life, and the secrets I had finally started to learn about how to harness that happiness and to experience it every single day. Lately, I’ve been looking around, and all of that is gone: because I’ve stopped working toward it. I’ve always known that happiness is not my default condition–for me, personally, being happy takes a great deal of hard work. But the truth is that I had it figured out during the summer of 2011. I have to make it my priority to get back to that place, or I’m going to be in for a long, hard ride.
On August 21, 2012, I wrote the following:
All my life, I’ve been prone to thinking about doing things, rather than actually just doing them. The time to do is now. I’ve become static in my own life–professionally, physically, personally.
A year before then, I had what was arguably the biggest social circle I’ve had in my lifetime. My calendar was overflowing with opportunities and experiences, and I went out of my way to do the things that would make me happiest. Life was truly my oyster.
Then I became static. I stopped paying attention to those things that I require to thrive, and I stopped putting in the effort it takes to put my happiness first. I let a bad work life take over my real life, and now I’ve ended up exactly back where I never wanted to be again. I’m largely sidelined, which I know from experience is the worst way for me to be.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all of these things. Only I truly know what it means to be me, and only I truly know what I need to thrive. Only I can bear the sole responsibility for taking care of meeting those needs.
I know what I want my life to look like.
1. I want to be purely and simply happy, every single day. I want to make the best of everything I’m given, even when that means having to go after the things that aren’t simply handed to me.
2. I want a partner who loves, supports, and respects me, and who can’t imagine his life without me. I want to do the same for him.
3. I want to be financially free to stop working the traditional 9-5. I want this by the time that I’m 30, if not before.
4. I want to buy a house with an income suite. I want to live in one apartment while renting out the other, and eventually rent out both spaces if I decide that’s what I want.
a. I want to buy a second income property. And a third, and a fourth, and so on.
b. I want to be free to live from anywhere, with the knowledge that my rental income will continue to support me (and eventually, my family).
5. As long as I continue to work a traditional job, I want it to be one that I enjoy and that doesn’t cause me stress.
6. I want to continue to write, because it teaches me things I didn’t previously know about myself. It could also turn into a source of income.
7. I want to pursue my passion for interior design.
8. I want always to be able to run a mile at the drop of a hat. I never want to let my body go to waste.
9. I want a nurturing social support network, and I want to be actively involved in the lives of those people who are closest to me.
This seems like a good place to start. And now’s certainly the time.
This is my one and only life; I need to start owning the responsibility for making it the one I want.